In this blog, we are highlighting power of saying no and how you can take back control positively, to make a difference.
Under Pressure
Do you find when the pressure is on and we are in a difficult place, the word ‘yes’ seems to increase in use? Sometimes it just seems easier to agree, to say ‘yes’ to make people or things go away or just to please which can impact upon self-esteem. You have probably heard of the phrase, the ‘path of least resistance’.
How often do you say ‘no’?
How often do you catch yourself saying ‘no’ compared to ‘yes’? You may not even be aware of the frequency or number of times. Now that this is in your awareness and your ‘radar’ is switched on start to take notice.
The cost of saying ‘yes’
What can be the cost of saying ‘yes’? Saying yes more often than you wish to, can add more pressure to self and others. Consider your intention behind the saying ‘yes’, you might want to ask yourself “For what purpose are you saying ‘yes’” to work this out. Is it for yourself or perhaps it’s for others?
Saying ‘yes’ more than you wish to can lead to more. This can be positive and negative depending upon the context. If for example it is in the workplace or in relationships it can link to raising or lowering self-esteem (how often have you said to yourself “wish I hadn’t said yes, why didn’t I say ‘no’ citing a justifiable reason? as you feel frustrated or de-energised”).
In general, saying yes more often than we might want to can highlight our inability to say ‘no’. This all leads to placing ourselves at the back of the queue or at the bottom of the pile of value.
Some tips for you to make a start:
Be Positively Selfish:
Saying no is like putting up a “Do Not Disturb” sign on your mental and emotional space. It’s not about being selfish; it’s self-care to be positively selfish by prioritising your needs. Remember, you can’t pour from an empty glass. Saying no helps enforce your boundaries. You are putting yourself first when it matters most for you and only you can do this.
Own Your Time:
Your time is so precious. Saying no to things that don’t align with your goals or values frees up space for the things that really matter. Embrace the power of prioritising you. How does that sound, look and feel as you say that to yourself?
Know Your Limits:
Saying no is a declaration of self-respect and authenticity. It demonstrates to yourself and others that you know your limits and respect your needs.
You Are Worth It – Reduce People Pleasing:
For what purpose and to whom are you saying yes to? How often do you catch yourself saying yes? Saying no liberates you from the pressure to please everyone else. It’s an act of empowerment, a gentle reminder that your worth isn’t tied to constantly saying yes.
“Yes But, No But”:
Start to avoid using the word ‘but’. Have you ever been on the receiving end of “I would like to help but…”? ‘But’ is unhelpful as it negates everything said previously, so replace it with ‘and’ for a positive result (no cheating with substitutes such as ‘yet’ and ‘however’ either). The more conscious you get about using the word ‘but’, the more you can catch yourself and use ‘and’ instead. Give it a go and see how that impacts you and how you feel?
Practice Saying “No, thank you…” Give a reason if it’s appropriate, explain why you are unable to. (Remember you are not using the word ‘but’). Theres only one way to do this, so try it out. How does it feel? The journey to self-empowerment starts here. Let’s take ownership and embrace the power of no, make it yours and start to use it with purpose and intention. You’ve got this!
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