You’ve done it! Set a SMART goal, created a detailed action plan with colour coding, programmed into your smartphone calendar and started with a bang! You were totally motivated and committed!
Then, what happens? After a few weeks, that initial buzz and energy starts to fade. Maybe you get scared or doubt starts to creep in. The goal starts to feel like a weight around you and before you know it, you’re back at the beginning, in the treacle, feeling like you’ve somehow sabotaged your own success.
It’s common to mull it over and ask ourselves, “Why does this keep happening? The answer is simple, it’s because most conventional goal-setting only engages the conscious mind, you know, the part that writes the list and endeavours to use willpower. We are missing something critical, powerful and the source of our values, beliefs, behaviour and motivation. Introducing the unconscious mind, aka, the goal getter. By combining both we can get the best possible results, without one or the other, we are no further forward than before.
This is where understanding Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) provides a breakthrough. NLP is essentially a blueprint for how your mind works, linking your amazing nervous system and thoughts (Neuro), what you say to yourself – your self talk (Linguistic), and your actions (Programming). By learning this process, we can quickly and safely encode or recode our thought patterns for success.
If you’re ready to stop letting limiting beliefs get in the way and start making achieving goals feel natural and exciting, then this is for you. I am going to share with you an NLP approach that will help you move from frustrated goal-setter to a competent achiever.
Reasons for being unsuccessful in achieving goals or outcomes
The Setting
In NLP we are keen to set goals consciously, this is what our conscious mind is brilliant at. Let’s start by working with the ‘labels’ as they can cause us problems. Ever noticed how you can respond to a label? How many of us react when we hear or see New Year ‘Resolutions’ or simply ‘goals’ are mentioned. We know from NLP that if we are experiencing a negative response in behaviour to the label, to change the response we need to create a different label. So how about changing ‘goal’ to ‘achievable outcome’, what response does that get for you instead? If it works for you or something similar, just change the label. It’s important that we have a positive response and from the start of your relationship with setting goals.
Then we require several key items; the right environment, the right mindset and the right process, we are giving ourselves the best possible start.
Environment is key to your mindset and focus. Choose a place which has meaning for you, a place that you have a connection to where you can just be you and get on with your task. Perhaps it inspires you. It can be inside or outside, the choice is yours.
Mindset
Now that we are in the right place physically, we want to be in the right place mentally. This is so that our mindset is more ‘open’ rather than ‘closed’, so that we can focus on ‘what if’ and what is possible rather than ‘what is’ and necessary.
Preparation
Embrace specificity, avoid vague.
A solid process is key to setting goals and it starts by being really specific. If we were to set a goal that is vague such as to be happy, successful, rich, get fit(ter) or to lose weight, there is no specificity. How much happy? More successful than what? How much money is rich? How fit? How much weight to lose? This is really important and a common mistake when setting goals. You want to be as precise as you can at this stage of the goal setting process.
Embrace evidence and make it personal
Once you have your goal, think about your outcome. Using all of your senses, note what will you see, hear, feel, smell, taste and say to yourself when you have it? The richer the detail, the better. Then add evidence criteria to measure against. In other words how will you know when you have it? You can use this to measure against. Without evidence criteria you will be unable to know if you have been successful. Always make sure your goal is for you, if it is for someone else, it is not your goal.
Embrace resources
Consider what resources are needed to achieve the goal. Do you have past experience that you can use or that someone else has and how can you access? Perhaps you have done something in the past that you really, really, wanted that you were totally focused and absolutely determined upon achieving. That is exactly what you want to channel on achieving your goal.
Embrace the win-win avoid limited choice
In NLP we want to make sure a goal is ecological, in other words that it is a win for you, for those around you and in the wider context. This is indicative of the mindset we want to be in whilst goal setting, anything less than a win means there are possibilities that we are unaware of and potential limiting beliefs holding us back. No-one likes or wants a limited choice situation.
The Getting
The conscious mind is the goal setter, the unconscious mind is the goal getter. Write your goal the ‘old fashioned way’ using a pen and paper. It can be a special pen or a biro. You can increase the success of achieving your goal by around 40%, by just writing it down. When we write, an amazing mental process occurs engaging our personal energy, mindset and muscle movement within part of our brain. Once completed, read it back to yourself, visualise your totally successful achievement of the goal either just as you achieve it or 15 mins after successful completion. With all of your senses engaged, notice what signs are present to demonstrate your success.
Now your mind is ready to chase the goal. What can get in the way?
Here are some key areas to be aware of:
Distraction. By allowing oneself to become distracted the goal can start to slip towards the back of the constantly evolving queue.
Focusing on what you don’t want, rather than focusing on what you do want, every day. Where your attention goes, energy flows, so if you are focusing in the wrong direction your energy will go in the wrong direction.
If we do not address either, then it can result in procrastination which will hold you back.
Some NLP tips:
Keep your focus so that your goal is at the forefront of your mind, think about it every day.
To help maintain motivation, celebrate all the wins along the way, not matter how big or small.
Be flexible, avoid rigid. Remember your journey towards your goal will be like a series of curves, there are no straight lines. Stuff will always happen along the way requiring regular adjustment, so reset whenever you need to.
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This is where the real value of NLP comes in at every stage, from setting to getting and handling every step along the way. To learn more about NLP and get the inside track on goal setting for results, join our start of the year online webinar Beginners Guide to NLP which focuses on goal setting.
