Comfort Has A Cost
There is a particular kind of silence that exists in the space between who we are and who we know we could be. It isn’t a loud noise of failure, instead it’s a quiet and a steady hum.
I often see it when I meet potential students and clients, you know the look of someone who has become exceptionally good at “hiding in plain sight.” Someone who shows up to work, who manages their responsibilities, and smiles at the right times. On the surface, everything is fine. Underneath? There is a question that has started to cause an ‘itch’; is this it?
The Spectator Seat
It seems that “sitting it out” is the safe option. We stay in that comfortable chair, watching the weeds grow in the garden of our potential, because taking action feels risky. It’s fine, remember, comfort has its own cost.
When you choose to be a spectator rather than a participant in your own life, you aren’t just “waiting.” You are actively paying with the only currency that matters. As we say on our training: all we have is time and energy.
The questions to ask yourself are:
Do you owe it to yourself to step forward?
What is the real cost of another year spent watching from the sidelines?
Is “comfortable” really what you want, or is it just what you’ve settled for in a blank contract with no end date?
The Signs
Avoiding or difficulty making and owning decisions
Low energy – getting up in the morning, getting tasks done
Frequent use of excuses and reasons – “it’s because of…”
Feeling frustrated – a classic sign you are ready to leave comfortable.
Experiencing a lack of control or feeling powerless.
These are all signs of being at ‘effect’, a perspective or mindset of ‘I am not getting what I want or in the way I want things to be’ due to people or events.
The Answer Is Choice
Our work in NLP is enable students and clients to increase their choice to experience the day to day on their terms. It is one of 14 powerful fundamentals of NLP which make living life a little easier. I often talk about state and state management, like motivation, energised or frustrated, for example. It can be easy to fall into the trap of viewing apathy as being numb or a lack of feeling, in reality, it is just a stuck state. A stuck state as a result of a conscious or unconscious decision to let the world pass by rather than through you. Good news is you can leave that stuck state and move forward by taking charge, using NLP.
Taking charge, move to cause
What is the opposite of apathy? It isn’t just “not being bored or having empathy.” There is more to it, treat it as being active, with purpose by choice, we call it in NLP being at ’cause’, the opposite of ‘effect’. It has come from a conscious decision to take charge. By taking charge of you, propels you into making decisions you have always known you should make, actively, which have been languishing in the “another day or time” pile.
Moving to being at ’cause’ is quite simply, a choice, to take responsibility for you. It is the moment you stop asking for permission to be who you already are. It is the realisation that you are the only one who can say ‘no’, and take action with those weeds.
Being at ’cause’ matters. You exercise your choice to emerge in plain sight owning your ‘shit’ on your own two feet. No more reasons, no more excuses, just taking responsibility for yourself and where you are. Please note this is not about blame or blaming yourself, that will hold you back as you are the only one who can make your difference. When you move from being a spectator to a participant, the world around you changes. Your confidence grows as you see the everyday barriers (mountains) for what they really are (molehills) and tackle them accordingly.
In NLP we learn to increase the clarity of our self-talk and enhance communication with others, students learn to say it as you want it, rather than as you don’t want.
NLP Tip
Start by increasing the use of “I want…” in your everyday language. Which means stopping saying and focusing on what you don’t want. Treat it as a mental gym exercise or routine. Granted at first it may seem a little strange, over time you get used to it. For instance after reading this blog you might say to yourself “I want to make a start and take charge” rather than “I really don’t want to stay stuck where I am”. Notice how it feels for you and what results you achieve.
After The First Step
Notice how the ‘weeds’ lose their power: Your ability to clear the interference and mute the noise of negative behaviours, doubts and limiting beliefs allows you to address and overcome the tasks.
Decisions become clear: You stop gravitating to what is easy and start moving towards what is necessary.
Comfort is redefined: You find a deeper, more resilient peace in action than you ever did in hiding.
The Choice
The price of sitting it out is simply too high. It’s time to stand up, step forward, and take charge. Not because it’s easy, because it’s yours.
If you want to learn more about taking charge and being at cause in your life and work get in touch for a chat about our latest NLP Training starting March 21st.
